Contemplative Fire

'To Do' or 'To Be'?

August 2011 Reflection

So this is my fourth week back into the flow of city and ministry life and I still haven't started my 'To Do' list. Each day I've thought about it, but have delayed starting one. So far nobody has pounded on my door, or fired me!

One day I reflected on what the previous day had been like. It had felt spacious, productive and wonderful. I had spent the day at the church which has hired me as a part-time Associate Priest and given Contemplative Fire a home which of course is my other part-time occuaption. I had several thoughtful conversations, did prep work for a group and a sermon and the usual emails as well as enjoying outdoor time under the trees. I realized that if I'd had a 'To Do' list by my side, I might have become driven by it. I could feel the Tyranny of The List. It had energy and power! There is so much that seems to scream at me TO DO. Once my ideas, connections, and thoughts get on paper they seem to gather momentum like a wave relentlessly pounding the shore. Do. Do. Do. With no list, my day unfolded naturally and spaciously. It felt wonderful.

Am I forgetting things? Am I getting less done? Maybe. But maybe I'm doing more that is really needlful and being a more less-anxious presence. My TRUST is growing. Each day as I spend time in stillness, opening to God's Presence, I desire to hear what I need to hear this day, to listen well, to trust the Spirit within me, and to trust my willingness to listen. Big step. Is this simply a summer delusion? I don't know how it will unfold, but I am enjoying this time.

About two days after that reflection I began to ponder creating a 'To Be' list. Top of my list -- To be KIND. Philip who leads Contemplative Fire has a phrase that I often pray with - 'gentle eyes and healing ears'. How I would love to grow in releasing God's kindness into the world, to be with gentle eyes and healing ears.

Would you like to join me in creating a To Be list? What would yours look like? What would it feel like to allow it to order your days?

with love and prayers

Anne

The Revd Anne Crosthwait

Community Leader (Canada)



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'To Do' or 'To Be'?