July 2011 Reflection

Do you have a "To Do" list?

How long is it? Do you ever add things to it when you've already done them so you can cross them off?  I've done that! Does your list ever feel like it has a life of it's own, growing so large, even driving your life? 

I can't recall when I haven't had a 'To Do' list or even lists. But right now I don't have one. Honestly, I don't have one.

Leaf-in-the-Wind

The wind blows where it will...

Ever since last March I've felt drawn to explore more deeply what Jesus meant when he said his people were to live blown freely by the Spirit, leaf-in-the-wind kind of people. How does that fit into my North Amerian, schedule driven life? Or does it? Maybe this 'leaf-in-the-wind' life is actually a part of Contemplative Fire's vision of creating a community of Christ at the edge.

 I've just returned from an extended summer break where I had what first felt like a challenge but then became a privledge. I didn't have anything to do. I was supposed to care for my grandchildren, but at the last minute that switched and my care was only needed sporadically. I could visit and play most days, but I wasn't needed to work. No one needed me. There was nothing to justify my existence beyond my presence. There was no "To Do" List.

Here was an opportunity to live Leaf-in-the-Wind. To decide each day what I would do. To decide each hour, each step. To explore the inner rhythms of my body, heart, mind and spirit to know the next 'right thing to do'. What started as a challenge became a joy. 

I experienced the difference between been driven in life, driven by 'To Do' lists, by my own or others expectations, and a life of following the inner voice, the gentle rhythm of my heart. Some days I was amazed at how much happened. Some days I was amazed at how little happened but how much was experienced.

Leaf-in-the-Wind - to be led by the Spirit of God into what might appear as random acts, but are actually moved by the deep eternal Spirit. I'd like to live a life where I follow Jesus more closely. Maybe Jesus is calling me/us into a radically different way of life, one deeply dependent upon him. Maybe this is a part of creating a community of Christ at the edge.

I'm back to work now. Will I start a "To Do" List again? I don't know. If i do, can I manage it so that it doesn't drive me, but merely supports me, a tool not a motor. I do know I want to learn to follow Christ's Spirit more deeply in my life. I want to know his wind blowing through me. I'm not sure where he will carry me, but I do trust more and more in the adventure of being loved by him.

How is your life today? Would you describe it driven by pressures, or more led by presence? Or would you have other words?

As always, I'm pleased to receive your reflections in response to mine.

with love and prayers as we journey together.

Anne

The Revd Anne Crosthwait

Community Leader (Canada)